Shades of Moonlight Read online

  His gaze narrowed on hers after he’d read her note. And did she actually see a hint of a blush on his cheeks?

  “I’m glad you feel safe around me. I want you to feel safe with me. I…don’t want you to be uncomfortable. With me.”

  She took a moment to consider her response, pen poised over the paper as Race watched her. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking, wasn’t sure what she should say.

  I’m not uncomfortable with you. I just

  She paused. She didn’t know how to put into words how she felt about him. Couldn’t think of the right thing to say.

  Since Kaisie and Grace had brought her here, Race had always been near. At first, she thought he’d been assigned. She’d asked Lia to find out. Lia had told her he’d asked to be her protection. She had no idea why.

  She wasn’t Mal. Although, she thought, maybe that didn’t matter to him. Maybe anyone associated with the Mal was lumped into the same category. And maybe since she’d been impregnated by one, she was automatically the enemy.

  But just now, he’d kissed her.

  Confusion threatened to give her a massive headache. She’d had a lot of those lately, which she’d attributed to stress.

  She lifted her hand to her temple and started to rub.

  “What’s wrong? Does your head hurt? How bad?”

  He cupped the back of her neck, warmth spreading from the point of contact. Taking away some of the pain.

  She stared up into his dark eyes, wondering what he was thinking. He looked worried.

  Would he kiss her again? She wanted him to.

  He stared into her eyes, searching for something. She wished she knew exactly what so she could give it to him.

  When he rose from the couch to pace the floor, she had to blink back tears. Obviously he didn’t want her as much as she wanted him.

  And why would he?

  Her gaze dropped away from his, all the doubts she’d lived with since escaping Florida roaring back up to drown her.

  She’d never run far enough away to outrun her past. She’d forever be that frightened little girl too afraid of her own shadow to stand up to the people who had made her little more than a slave. Who had used her in the cruelest way possible.

  And she’d let them.

  “Mara.”

  She’d let them use her. She should’ve been brave enough to at least attempt an escape. If not for herself then for her baby.

  “Mara. Look at me.”

  No, she couldn’t. She was afraid she’d see confirmation of her cowardice in Race’s eyes. He was the one person she couldn’t stand to have look at her like that.

  She picked up the pad and focused on that so she wouldn’t have to see him.

  I’m sorry. I’m so tired. I need to get some sleep.

  She paused, thought about what she wanted to say then forced herself to finish. Yes, she was a coward but she meant to change that. Baby steps. She could do that at the very least.

  But please don’t leave.

  She’d never asked a man for anything since she’d begged her father not to send her to her uncle’s compound. Her father had told her to do her duty and act her age. She’d been fifteen. Her life since then had been one long nightmare ruled by fear. First for herself. Then for her child.

  Now… She needed a little breathing room.

  She handed over the pad, watched Race read it, his jaw tightening again before he nodded and captured her gaze.

  “I won’t go anywhere. You go to bed. I won’t let anything happen to you. And I’ll be here when you get up.”

  There was a promise in his words. One she so wanted to be worthy of.

  Maybe someday.

  Race watched as Mara nodded at him then turned and headed for her small bedroom at the back of the house.

  He waited until she’d closed the door before he let his eyes close and his hands curl into fists.

  He’d scared her. And that was the very last thing he’d ever wanted to do.

  Damn it. He’d known better. He knew he shouldn’t have touched her. Knew—

  Fuck.

  He ran a hand over his head, the rasp of stubble against his palm abrasive. If he’d had any hair, he would’ve yanked it.

  With a muttered curse, he stalked to the front door. He wanted to call his pelt and go for a run but he’d told her he’d stay here and he refused to break that promise.

  So he opened the door and took a deep breath of the winter-scented air. And the scent of the man sitting on the porch.

  Check that. Not a man. A god.

  Tivr. Etruscan God of the Moon. Who looked as if he should be playing guitar in a metal band, all lean muscle, tattoos and spiky black hair. He leaned against the porch post, seemingly oblivious to the below-freezing temperature in a short-sleeved Avenged Sevenfold t-shirt, faded jeans and bare feet.

  “Hey, Race. She okay?”

  Though Ty looked about twenty, the guy had been around for a couple millennia. Weird but then Race and all his friends and family turned into wolves. Who was he to talk?

  “Not really sure.” Which was totally the truth. “You want to come in?”

  Ty nodded though he didn’t move for several seconds. When he finally pushed away from the post, he gave Race a brief smile as he slipped by.

  Shutting the door behind him, Race watched Ty amble into the room, taking in everything.

  The guy was the lucani patron god, just as his mother had been their patron goddess. Now that duty had fallen to Cat, who Race still remembered as a tiny redheaded toddler following around after Race, his best friend Seth and Race’s brother Lark, who were only five and six years older than she.

  After a couple laps around the room, Ty finally headed for the couch and slumped into the cushions. Race took the chair opposite, not sure what he was supposed to say or do.

  “So they could only break half the spell.” Ty stared at him, sharp gaze taking in everything. “How’s Mara handling it?”

  Race’s back stiffened at the tone of Ty’s voice. “She’s strong. She’ll deal. You don’t have to worry about her. She won’t go back to the Mal. Not ever.”

  Ty’s lips curled in a slight smile. “I kinda thought it was like that.” Shaking his head, Ty held up one hand. “I wasn’t questioning her loyalty.”

  Damn it. Should’ve kept his mouth shut again. Usually when he opened it, he said the wrong thing. Like now.

  “Sorry. I didn’t—”

  “Race.” Ty’s smile had spread to a full-blown grin. “Seriously. Chill. This isn’t an inquisition.”

  Then why was Ty here? Race could count on one hand the number of times he’d been alone with the god. He thought he’d gotten beyond the point of being uncomfortable around him.

  Not that Race was comfortable around many people.

  “So, tell me something.” Ty speared him with that too-sharp gaze again. “Do you like being a soldier?”

  Huh? He smoothed out a frown before it could form. “Yeah, I do.” His answer wasn’t hard to come up with. And it was the truth. But what the hell was Ty getting at?

  “Have you ever considered doing anything else?”

  “No, not really.”

  Ty nodded, as if that was exactly what he’d expected to hear. “Nice to know what you want to do with your life, isn’t it?”

  “Uh…”

  Ty snorted. “Yeah, sorry. Long day. I could really use a beer.”

  Race was on his feet and heading toward the fridge before he realized Mara probably didn’t have any. He’d never seen her drink anything other than milk, water or juice.

  He was shocked as shit to see a six pack of Yuengling tucked in the back.

  Grabbing two, he headed back to the couch, handing Ty one and sinking back into his chair.

  “So can I ask you a question?”

  Race wanted to groan. Seemed question-and-answer time wasn’t over yet. “Sure.” What the hell else was he going to say?

  Ty stared him straight in the eyes. “What
should I get Cat for her birthday?”

  * * * * *

  The birds woke Mara shortly before daybreak.

  Tears gathered for the simple fact that she could hear them but she forced them back. No more tears. She didn’t want Arin’s first memory to be of her crying.

  Turning, she looked for the bassinet by the bed—

  Her heart nearly leaped from her chest.

  The bassinet wasn’t there.

  Throwing off the covers, she flew out of bed, her heart pounding up into her throat.

  Where was he? Who—

  She stopped short as she remembered. The bassinet hadn’t been there for weeks because she’d moved him into the crib in the next room.

  And Arin wasn’t there either because Grace and Kaisie had kept him last night.

  Because Race had stayed with her.

  Race had kissed her. And she’d freaked. She’d been a damn timid fool.

  But now it was time to face the day.

  Walking into the front room, she saw him, stretched out on the couch, sound asleep.

  Or so she thought. The second she took a step toward him, his eyes opened and he looked straight into hers.

  He shot off the couch, instantly alert. “Hey, everything okay? What’s wrong?”

  Wrong? The only thing wrong was that Arin wasn’t here. She wanted her baby.

  She wanted her voice back. She wanted her life to be normal, not this freak show. She wanted parents who loved her, not the monsters who’d given her to a psychopath who treated women like breeding mares.

  And…she wanted Race.

  Maybe she should just wish for the moon and stars too.

  “Mara. What’s wrong?”

  Race’s voice held that just-woke-up rasp that made a shiver run down her spine. And brought frustrated tears to her eyes. She shook her head and signed, “I miss Arin. How’s your head?”

  She watched his face as he watched her hands, saw how hard he concentrated.

  He confused her. He made her want to kiss him again. He made her want…

  Things she shouldn’t. Because what she wanted always came with strings.

  His gaze snapped back to hers as soon as he’d translated. “Head’s fine. How’d you sleep?”

  “Okay.” Would’ve slept better if he’d been there beside her. But she couldn’t tell him that, could she? Yes, he’d kissed her but she still didn’t know why. And maybe she never would.

  “Do you want to go pick up Arin now?”

  She nodded. “Can you take me?”

  He had her out the door in under ten minutes, bundled into a coat that had to weigh at least ten pounds and made her look like a walking pink quilt. And the boots… They weighed at least another ten pounds.

  But the extra weight was worth it because it had snowed overnight.

  Living in Florida her entire life, the only snow she’d ever seen had been on television.

  This… This was magical. And she didn’t mean the kind of magic the people around her used every day.

  This was altogether different. It lightened the pressure on her chest and she smiled up at Race as he took her hand and helped her wade through the couple of inches already on the ground.

  “Beautiful,” she signed and knew he understood when his face screwed up in a frown.

  “Haven’t you ever seen snow before?”

  She shook her head then tilted her face up to let the flakes fall on her skin.

  Cold but feather-soft.

  “You’re going to be soaking wet by the time we get there if you don’t pick up the pace.”

  Race’s voice held a note of amusement that made her turn to look at him again. His expression had lightened some and that gorgeous mouth curved in a slight smile.

  She smiled back as she lifted her hands to sign. “Want to be rid of me already?”

  His eyes narrowed for a brief moment before he reached for her hand again and tightened his grip on her. “No.”

  Waiting for him to elaborate, she held her breath, but he had nothing more to say, which was par for the course with Race.

  She released his hand so she could sign again then couldn’t think of how to say what she wanted to say in sign language simple enough for him to understand.

  Instead he grabbed her hand and pulled her along again. “Talk later. Walk now.”

  She wanted to argue. So she did. With one hand, she told him exactly how frustrated she was with him and knew he didn’t understand more than a few words.

  But his lips did that slight twist again that let her know he was amused.

  “I’m pretty sure you just ripped into me but for once I’m happy I can’t understand you.”

  She threw her free hand up in the air in exasperation and rolled her eyes but he just kept moving forward, that half-smile still tugging at his lips.

  Mara couldn’t quite contain her own smile. For the first time in what felt like forever, she thought maybe, just maybe, things had started to turn her way.

  * * * * *

  Cole Luporeale stared out the window of his office, watching the snow blanket the forest.

  He registered the beauty of the white-tipped pines and pristine carpet covering the forest floor but his brain kept working the problem he’d been considering for the past few months.

  What should he do?

  Yes, there was so much more to the question. What should he do about Cat? What should he do about the Mal? What should he do about the coming war? The war only he seemed to know was coming.

  A war that had the potential to further fracture the Etruscan races until they ceased to exist altogether.

  And allowed the Mal to spread unchecked.

  “Cole. You have a minute?”

  Turning from the window, he made sure he had his game face on. He wasn’t sure it would help. Sometimes he thought Dorian Pelligrini could actually read his mind.

  It didn’t help that his praetorian had been with him since he’d been nineteen. Now Cole was legatus of the lucani legion. He’d inherited the title of king from his father and he’d managed to keep the lucani from splintering into several pieces over the last two years.

  But even though he was thirty, she could still make him feel like a stupid kid with nothing more on his brain than sex and drinking.

  Vaffanculo, he really wished that was all he had on the brain.

  “What’s up, Dorian?”

  She stopped just inside the door. She wouldn’t come any closer unless he specifically invited her to.

  “I heard about Mara. When are they going to try to break the rest of the spell?”

  “Sounds like you’re worried about her?”

  Dorian shrugged and Cole hid a grin. Anyone who met Mara was taken in by her sweetness. Apparently Dorian had had the same reaction.

  “The girl didn’t deserve what those bastards did to her.”

  “No, she didn’t. And I don’t know when they’re going to attempt to break the rest. Margie said the first part knocked them all on their asses. They want to regroup before they try the second. Come in and sit, Dori. You’re making my neck hurt.”

  She shook her head. “No time. Have you forgotten? You’ve got a meeting in five minutes.”

  Holding back a sigh, he nodded. “I haven’t forgotten. Is she here yet?”

  “No. But you know she’ll be on time.”

  He nodded. The Goddess Turan was never late. And every time she showed up, she left him with more questions than he’d had before she showed up. “And one of these days maybe she’ll actually tell me why she comes to talk.”

  Dorian leaned against the doorjamb, dark-brown eyes staring at him with single-minded focus. “Maybe she likes the company.”

  Her deadpan delivery made him grin and brought out an answering smile on her beautiful face. Years ago, he’d accepted the fact that Dorian was one of the most beautiful women he’d ever met, smart and sexy with a dry wit not many people realized she had. He’d never been attracted to her sexually but he often wond
ered if she ever thought about sleeping with him.

  Hell, they spent most of their time together, which meant if he went on a date—which he did occasionally—she went as well.

  Which made him wonder if she had dates of her own.

  What would she do if he flat-out asked her to sleep with him?

  Probably lay him out flat with a left hook. He’d seen her take down bigger men.

  “Cole? Is everything okay? You haven’t seemed yourself lately.”

  He didn’t feel like himself lately. He felt out of it, a beat off. Ever since he’d returned from New Orleans a year ago, where he’d held his first congress, a meeting of the North American lucani packs.

  That meeting hadn’t gone as planned. He’d nearly lost his sister Arabella and his best friend Steven Castiglione there.

  And this past year had been…eventful, to say the least.

  They’d gained a new goddess and added several members to their extended family. Some of whom had Mal ties.

  That should’ve worried the hell out of him. But Grace had proven her loyalty to the lucani. And her daughter and son and their cousin Mara were innocent pawns in Mal games and Cole would never turn them out.

  Hell, his best friend Steven had been born Mal and he’d more than proven his loyalty to Cole and Arabella.

  “Times are changing.”

  Dorian’s eyes narrowed in concern but her tone was droll. “Are you going to sing now? At least give me fair warning so I can leave before my ears bleed.”

  Cole shook his head, frustration and fear bubbling in his gut. Neither of which he ever showed outside this office. “Aren’t you worried about what’s coming?”

  Dorian took a deep breath and released it on a sigh. “Of course. But that just means we have to be ready for anything. So that’s what we do.”

  If only it were that easy. Because the person who needed to be sure the lucani knew what to be ready for was him. And he couldn’t fail. The fate of an entire race depended on him.

  “Cole. You’re over-thinking.”

  “No, this time I don’t think I am.”

  Dorian rolled her eyes. She actually fucking rolled her eyes at him. “Fine. You want to mope for a few minutes, have at it. But just remember. You’re not dealing with a bunch of pansy-assed humans. We’re also wolves. We’ve got fangs and claws and we know how to use them. If people forget that sometimes, that’s their problem.”